August 2020 - Swing Social


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August 2020

Top 10 Tips To Get Invited To Play!

We share our Top 10 Tips To Get Invited To Play which are the best where you make such a good impression that the sexiest people in the room invite you to come and join them! At SwingSocial we have many new members turn up to our events expecting the whole room to swarm them and wanting to play and party, but sometimes you need to follow our Top 10 Tips To Get Invited To Play so you make the most of your attendance to any of our play parties: 1. Go with the flow! This means walking in with zero expectations of getting in with the coolest, sexy people at the party but hey, if it happens, bonus!  People instinctively know when someone comes in with expectations; those who are casual about the whole thing are unconsciously more attractive. 2. Be interested in them  which means do more listening and less talking about yourself, your conquests, your magic pleasure skills and how awesome you are in bed… ugh. 3. Respect the partners! Oh this is a big one.  If you want to get invited to join a couple you need to get the approval from the one you could be seen as being in competition with.  This means building rapport with them, listening to them, not grabbing or making advances with their partner in front of them without asking if it’s ok first.  They are the gatekeepers, you need to impress them almost more than the one you want to get naked with. 4. Don’t dive in before the Dive Master says go! There is room in this lifestyle for being a bit bold but the quickest way for the door to be closed to your potential invitation is to cop a feel, go in for a kiss or go to rip their clothes off before they’ve actually given some sort of confirmation, sign, neon flashing light to say ready, willing and what-the-hell-are-you-waiting-for?  Oh and no ALWAYS means no. If you hear it, move on.  End of story. 5. Take your time. Don’t be in a rush to get them from “hi” to “what’s for breakfast?”  In this lifestyle couples are looking for quality so they aren’t in a rush and are put off by people who are pushy and try to rush things. Well unless you are in the dominant/submissive thing but that’s a whole other article. 6. Be fun and easy to talk to! This means being relaxed and being you. Be conversational, fun and a bit flirtatious without going overboard.  It’s the people who are comfortable with themselves and easy to connect with that get the invitations.  Also know that if being yourself doesn’t lead to a connection then they probably aren’t your peeps. When you connect with your kind of people, the fun and pleasure are awesomely amplified! 7. Ditch the drama and gossip! When you’re getting to know a new couple, don’t talk about other people you’ve been with or know about, no need to share the dramas they are going through or the scene they made at the last party.  What happens in the head of the people you’re talking to is “what if they’re talking to someone else and share things like that about us?!?”  Don’t be THAT guy/girl. People want to know that you can be trusted and keep a secret… blabbering about someone else says the opposite. 8. Build the relationship! Even once you get the invitation to join in keep building a relationship with the partner of the person you can’t wait ravage or pin up against the wall.  If their partner starts to feel like you’re moving in on their territory, if there is any scrap of insecurity or jealousy then you’re going to trigger it and then all hell and zero-fun breaks loose.  The partner is the bouncer even after you get past the VIP rope so keep that in mind.  At ALL times. 9. Look and smell your best! This one is really a no-brainer! Hygiene people, hygiene. 10. Compliments. People respond to compliments, we all like to be told how sexy, intelligent, amazing, interesting we are (and don’t forget to compliment the partner somehow too).  Like all things though, best in moderation. It’s really not hard to shine and stand out above the crowd, sometimes it just takes time to find your perfect matches so be patient and enjoy the ride!  

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The Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle

The Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle. Every journey has a beginning and an end and the Swinger Lifestyle is no different. There are phases or cycles and they all come with their pro’s and con’s. Sometimes it’s good to know where you’re at and what you can expect to come up as you continue throughout your Swinging adventure there are things to look forward to and things to look out for. In this blog we talk about the Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle. The Honeymoon Phase. This is the first phase of Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle. Everything is new and exciting and you just cannot wait to start or get to your next play date. This phase is also nerve wracking for some as the relationship evolves and new boundaries are explored separately and together. This can be the most fun time but at the same time both partners will feel quite vulnerable so communication is vital to make sure you are both exploring together in a balanced way and you are comfortable with what you are and what you are not doing together and separately. CONS If you come across overly keen this can be a turn off to other couples and singles in the swinging community and sometimes the idea that you are \”new\” to the community and the lifestyle can also deter some couples from engaging in play. If you are overly excited and eager to get stark naked and dive right in, you might want to be a bit more selective and get to know people first before your next playmate experience becomes a horrible first experience for you and them. Go at the pace of your partner to make sure both of you are comfortable. If you or your partner are not comfortable you need to discuss this with each other otherwise the relationship will fall apart. Communication is key to ensure you can both build trust and confidence between each other and then start relaxing the boundaries and experiencing more of the lifestyle. PROS Simply talking about the idea of hooking up with others can be a turn on for some couples and so as you begin playing with new people and talking about it afterwards will help you both explore your insecurities and get to know each others sexual urges. You may discover new things about each other and this will enhance your sexual play together and with others. You also score some new sexy talk which can lead to increased intimacy with your partner. Get Into The Groove Phase. The second phase of the Swinging Life Cycle is where you aren’t considered a newbie anymore, and the super keen feeling you had to swing at every possible opportunity has subsided enough for you to kick back and enjoy the lifestyle. This is where you have stepped into the groove of your swing-style and you know what you are doing and how to communicate with fellow swingers in the community. It\’s time to meet, party and play! Once you are comfortable you may even start exploring new kinks and fetishes with other couples you never even considered and have become comfortable with your body. CONS It is common for the Swinging Lifestyle to consume your every day lifestyle what we mean by this is that your Swinging friends become such a big part of your life to the point you no longer hang out with your \”vanilla friends\” and in some cases your own family (or your partners family). This can cause waves and the only thing you can do is to communicate with your partner about the time you spend with your swinging friends to make sure you always make time for your vanilla friends, family, parties and play dates – so that nobody in your life feels left out of spending time with you and fabulous partner or partners. PROS You will have so much more confidence by this point and you will be able to choose who you are going to play with and you would rather have a conversation with a lot quicker, saving you time and helping you relax with each new swinger party or event that we host at SwingSocial. By this point you and your partner would have played and parties with many different people so your ability to get to know different people and relate to them will be more advanced and you will even have new skills for the bedroom (or the kitchen bench, spa or shower – wherever your adventure takes you!). Sexual Evolution Phase. Now – to kick off do not be upset if you have not made it to this point because not all swingers do; however this phase is where you decide you want more than just sex with a couple/person you meet. You start looking for friendships as well as regular hot sexy nights; having a “regular playmate/couple” is common. There is nothing better than enjoying sex with people you really like and are familiar with. Sex only gets better and you will have a closer sense of connection with the couple/s. This phase is also the one where it could potentially evolve from a swinging relationship to a poly style. There have certainly been many couples that have made that transition but not all do, many stop at the having regular playmates point and just enjoy the swinging with people they connect more with, making friends along the way and more casually having fun. CONS We cannot stress that communication at this phase is very very important! You and your partner both need to be on the same page as each other because if you are not jealousy and vulnerability will creep in and that will disrupt your entire relationship and your own intimacy with each other and yourselves. PROS If you make it to this phase you will discover that there is a deeper love, more trust and increased enjoyment sexually and

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7 Things Swingers Are Sick Of Hearing!

Whether you are a swinging couple or polyamorous couple; perhaps you are just a free and liberated individual who loves to experience the lifestyle of an \”open\” relationship; we are certain you have come across people in your life who just do not understand the Swinging Lifestyle or judge you for what makes you happy. Everyone is filled with questions and so there are generally 7 things swingers are sick of hearing when it comes to the wider community who does not understand our world whether that is family or friends. We all have vanilla friends (if you do not know what the term vanilla means check out 105 terms you should know) who want to ask questions because naturally people are curious and anything different is going to spark their interest especially if it is unfamiliar to them. BUT – sometimes how people ask these questions can be a little offensive, so we have covered off the 7 Things Swingers are Sick of Hearing below, so you know…that we know! Being asked questions by your vanilla friends isn\’t necessarily a bad thing, people are curious by nature and things unfamiliar to them are often a source of interest. But it\’s often the way these questions are asked, and what\’s hidden behind them that can be frustrating, and often a little offensive. So here are 7 things swingers are sick of hearing and being asked: 1. Please Don\’t Steal My Husband/Wife! People are not easy to steal for a starters. There is always that one person (or couple) that is outside the swinger community that assumes just because you are a Swinger you are going to steal their husband or wife; like they are some piece of furniture or pet you can easily replace without anyone noticing. People in Open Relationships believe in trust, openness, honesty and full transparency. It always confuses us why people who are in closed relationships make the sweeping assumption that because we are swingers we don\’t have respect for our partner. If we were out there stealing other partners that would break the rules and boundaries we set within our open relationship and it simply violates everything that the Swinging Community stands for. 2. Do You Ever Worry About Diseases Or Infections? This question is very common. People in closed relationships make the same assumption that most people make about sex workers, that they are diseased or infected because they have sex with more than just the one partner – failing to realise that the nature of an Open relationship requires very careful health and safety regimes and promises between each partner. Swinging couples who play are very very conscious of their health and always practice safe sex. 3. That is Disgusting, I would never let my partner do that! Judgement – don\’t let this comment get you down, unless you friend is interested in trying before they judge you next time – then go for gold! This is such an overarching statement and overreaction that Swinging Couples \”let\” their partners do anything they want, yet we know in the Swinging Community that communication is crucial to a happy relationship. In short, if you are not in an Open Relationship then don\’t have one. It is not that hard to understand if you would not let your partner do it then don\’t let them do it. Open Relationships are more freeing and you should not have to do what everyone else is doing in their relationships if your lifestyle makes you happier – do what makes you and your partner happy. 4. Why Don\’t You Get Jealous Don\’t You Think You Partner Will Leave You? We touched on this key point earlier, Communication is vital to an Open Relationship. Every conversation and experience is discussed with each person in a relationship to make sure everyone is comfortable and fully onboard before exploring sexually with other people or other couples. As Swingers we all understand that if there are any concerns at any time we can talk about this with our partner or partners openly and honestly so we can solve these concerns and move on being happy and sexually liberated. Boundaries are always important so remembering that every Couple has different rules. For example, you may accept that your partner admires a sexy person across the room but you would not necessarily let them kiss that person, whereas another person has a problem with their partner even looking. Jealousy is unique to every relationship but communication is what settles down this green-eyed-monster. 5. WTF! Do You Tell Your Children? Probably the most offensive question ever asked. Do people really think that we would take our children to an Orgy or a Sex Party that we host at SwingSocial? This not only disgusts us but we are sure it would horrify any parent out there in the Swinging Community that also believes that what we do as adults does not concern our children. We tend to reply with the following questions: Did you let your children watch while you two had sex in the shower? Did you let your children watch porn on the television? So what makes you think people who have sex with more than one person would be any different? Sure, we may have to change a few more sheets then you – but that does not mean we let the kids do it. 6. Kinky… You Must Be Sexual Deviants? What do you define as Kinky? What do you define as Deviant? We do not believe that when you experience the Open Relationship lifestyle and sex with other people that you are considered a deviant or kinky, unless perhaps you are engaging in what would be considered taboo or kinky – but who are we to judge what brings you pleasure and excitement? You will always come across monogamous couples who engage in super kinky sex but don\’t talk about it and so it does surprise us when we are asked

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105 Swinging Lifestyle Definitions You Should Know!

Are you ready to understanding 105 Swinging Lifestyle Definitions? 105 Swinging Lifestyle Definitions may seem like a lot but we know you will get a grip on these terms as you start to explore your sexuality at SwingSocial and attend our parties, not all 105 Swinging Lifestyle Definitions will apply to you or even your partner but it is always good to understand what our community and our members are talking about when you receive a message from them or when you get the amazing opportunity to meet in person at our Parties. When you undertake a new venture, like swinging for the first time, it\’s important to understand the lingo and catchphrases our SwingSocial community uses before you dip your toes in the pool so lets get started (ps. if we miss any please let us know so we can update the list, there are always new terms being added so come back frequently for updates!). ACDC: someone who enjoys sexual activity involving both the same sex and the opposite sex, ie. bisexual. Air tight: all holes filled – vagina, anus, mouth. Backstage pass (BSP): giving another member on an online dating site access to your private gallery. Bare back: intercourse without the use of a condom. BBC: big black cock. BBW: big beautiful women, typically used to describe plus sized women BHM: big handsome men, typically used to describe plus sized men BDSM: acronym commonly interpreted as Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and submission (D/s), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). BDSM is a single acronym that unites an array of lifestyles, fetishes and paraphilia. Bicurious: Having a curiosity for having attraction to, or sexual experimentation with, the same gender or sex. Biflexible: A person who isn\’t necessarily bisexual but has bisexual tendencies. Bukkake: several men ejaculating onto one woman. Bull: a man either single or part of a couple looking for casual sex with females. Men considered \”bulls\” are usually well endowed. Can entertain: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party. Can travel: people who are not constrained by distance and are able to travel for hook-ups. Candaulism: sexual arousal from watching a partner have sex with, or engage in sexual activity with, another person. Cheating: any activity, be it sexual or otherwise, that violates the agreements of that relationship or is done without a partner\’s consent or knowledge. Clean : hygienic and free from sexually transmitted infections. Clean up: going down on a partner after they\’ve had sex. Closed door: couples who are comfortable playing in separate rooms without their partners being able to visually observe them. In a club environment it means that there are doors which can be closed for private play without interruption. Closet swinger: someone who hides the fact that they are a swinger. Cock blocked: interfering with another person\’s attempts to get laid. Compersion: excitement, pleasure and desire to see your partner having sex with someone else. The opposite of jealousy. Consensual Non-consent (CNC): the giving over of consent to be violated for purposes of role-play. Commonly associated with ‘rape’ or ravishment fantasy. Consent: informed and clear permission, given without manipulation or coercion. Consent can be retracted at any time. Couple (C or CPL): for the purposes of swinging defined as a man and a woman (MF) either married, defacto, in a committed relationship or a single couple dating for swinging purposes. Cuckold: a husband whose wife plays without him or who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. Dildo: an artificial penis usually made of silicone or plastic. Discreet / Discretion: this person is very private about their swinging activities and asks that you are too when contacting them. Dogging: having sex in a public area while others watch. The term originated in the UK and it usually involves people meeting in cars. Dominant: a sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner. Often abbreviated to ‘Dom’ (masc), ‘Domme’ (fem), Dom/me (gender neutral) and ‘D’. Double penetration (DP): usually refers to a female having two holes penetrated at the same time. Drama free: a couple whose relationship is free of jealousy. Exhibitionist: someone who experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying their body or having sex while other people watch. Family first: a lifestyle couple who have a family situation which makes it difficult to drop everything to meet. Fetish: an erotic or sexual fixation with a particular object or act. In some instances it is simply a turn-on, and in others it is a requirement for sexual gratification. Fluid Bonded: a consensual agreement between (often monogamous) partners to share sexual secretions, cum etc by engaging in unprotected sex. Friends with benefits: usually not just a sex only relationship but started from the basis of friendship or evolves into a friendship. Fuckbuddy: people who fuck on a semi regular basis but are not in a relationship. Full swap: a couple who is comfortable switching partners with another couple for full penetration. Gang bang: where a single girl is the centre of attention and having sex with multiple men (on the same night). Generous: reference to exchanging money for sex. Group sex: what most non-swingers think swingers do every weekend. It is sexual activity between three or more people. Hardcore: where sexual activity is assumed. Hard swing: a swingers party or encounter where sexual interaction is assumed and expected. Host: willing and able to invite sexual playmates or swinging couples to their home to party. Hotwife (wife share): a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage often in the context of swinging or cuckoldry. House party: a private group of swingers hosted at a private home. Indoor sports: slang terminology for swinging activities. Interested: seeking a swinging relationship which includes emotional and recreational values. Lifestyle: refers to the swinging community, can be substituted, ie a swinging couple may refer to themselves as a lifestyle couple. Mandingo: a man who prides himself on his sexual abilities, basically

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