The Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle. Every journey has a beginning and an end and the Swinger Lifestyle is no different. There are phases or cycles and they all come with their pro’s and con’s. Sometimes it’s good to know where you’re at and what you can expect to come up as you continue throughout your Swinging adventure there are things to look forward to and things to look out for.
In this blog we talk about the Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle.
The Honeymoon Phase.
This is the first phase of Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle. Everything is new and exciting and you just cannot wait to start or get to your next play date. This phase is also nerve wracking for some as the relationship evolves and new boundaries are explored separately and together. This can be the most fun time but at the same time both partners will feel quite vulnerable so communication is vital to make sure you are both exploring together in a balanced way and you are comfortable with what you are and what you are not doing together and separately.
CONS
If you come across overly keen this can be a turn off to other couples and singles in the swinging community and sometimes the idea that you are \”new\” to the community and the lifestyle can also deter some couples from engaging in play.
If you are overly excited and eager to get stark naked and dive right in, you might want to be a bit more selective and get to know people first before your next playmate experience becomes a horrible first experience for you and them.
Go at the pace of your partner to make sure both of you are comfortable. If you or your partner are not comfortable you need to discuss this with each other otherwise the relationship will fall apart. Communication is key to ensure you can both build trust and confidence between each other and then start relaxing the boundaries and experiencing more of the lifestyle.
PROS
Simply talking about the idea of hooking up with others can be a turn on for some couples and so as you begin playing with new people and talking about it afterwards will help you both explore your insecurities and get to know each others sexual urges. You may discover new things about each other and this will enhance your sexual play together and with others.
You also score some new sexy talk which can lead to increased intimacy with your partner.
Get Into The Groove Phase.
The second phase of the Swinging Life Cycle is where you aren’t considered a newbie anymore, and the super keen feeling you had to swing at every possible opportunity has subsided enough for you to kick back and enjoy the lifestyle.
This is where you have stepped into the groove of your swing-style and you know what you are doing and how to communicate with fellow swingers in the community. It\’s time to meet, party and play!
Once you are comfortable you may even start exploring new kinks and fetishes with other couples you never even considered and have become comfortable with your body.
CONS
It is common for the Swinging Lifestyle to consume your every day lifestyle what we mean by this is that your Swinging friends become such a big part of your life to the point you no longer hang out with your \”vanilla friends\” and in some cases your own family (or your partners family).
This can cause waves and the only thing you can do is to communicate with your partner about the time you spend with your swinging friends to make sure you always make time for your vanilla friends, family, parties and play dates – so that nobody in your life feels left out of spending time with you and fabulous partner or partners.
PROS
You will have so much more confidence by this point and you will be able to choose who you are going to play with and you would rather have a conversation with a lot quicker, saving you time and helping you relax with each new swinger party or event that we host at SwingSocial.
By this point you and your partner would have played and parties with many different people so your ability to get to know different people and relate to them will be more advanced and you will even have new skills for the bedroom (or the kitchen bench, spa or shower – wherever your adventure takes you!).
Sexual Evolution Phase.
Now – to kick off do not be upset if you have not made it to this point because not all swingers do; however this phase is where you decide you want more than just sex with a couple/person you meet. You start looking for friendships as well as regular hot sexy nights; having a “regular playmate/couple” is common. There is nothing better than enjoying sex with people you really like and are familiar with. Sex only gets better and you will have a closer sense of connection with the couple/s.
This phase is also the one where it could potentially evolve from a swinging relationship to a poly style. There have certainly been many couples that have made that transition but not all do, many stop at the having regular playmates point and just enjoy the swinging with people they connect more with, making friends along the way and more casually having fun.
CONS
We cannot stress that communication at this phase is very very important! You and your partner both need to be on the same page as each other because if you are not jealousy and vulnerability will creep in and that will disrupt your entire relationship and your own intimacy with each other and yourselves.
PROS
If you make it to this phase you will discover that there is a deeper love, more trust and increased enjoyment sexually and spiritually in your relationship embracing every opportunity and truly fulfilling your sexual lifestyle in the swinger community, but again – do not be disappointed if you do not get to this phase – it is not for everyone.
Throw In The Towel Phase.
Put simply, this phase is the closing phase – where you decide to take a break and stop swinging.
Many couples decide to stop for a number of reasons; it could be because they are starting or adding to their family or perhaps they have reached the peak in their exploration journey and have decided to be together solely with each other and this is all acceptable reasons. At SwingSocial we have many members come and go but we still keep in contact with them and we encourage a sense of wider community, because real friendships last a lifetime.
Sometimes taking a break is a temporary thing, sometimes it is permanent. Whatever happens at this phase we encourage you to do what works for you, for your partner and for your relationship.
CONS
There are many reasons why couples decide to exit the Swinging Community. If issues have come up in the relationship as a result of swinging we encourage you to talk to each other about this and we are even more than happy to talk to you both at SwingSocial to help you as best we can sort things out in a balanced and happy ending way.
If one partner is ready to stop and the other wants to keep going, discussions need to be had and engage the help of a professional if you need to find out why and create a solution that works for both and at SwingSocial we can help you find the right people to talk to if a simple conversation is not going to resolve the issue with qualified Relationship Counselors.
PROS
Often it’s just a temporary hiatus.
The lifestyle is not going anywhere and you can come back to the playground at anytime. Often it’s a great opportunity to reconnect with your partner as it’s easy to get caught up in the lifestyle or life and before you know it, one of you is feeling disconnected.
Just be a couple for a while, get to know each other again – in fact we recommend this to all our swingers to make sure that their relationships remains happy and united and does not become toxic and stagnated.
Swinging can be a wild adventure that brings you both closer than you ever imagined possible, it could also be a stepping stone to the next evolution in your relationship. Where are you currently in Life Cycle of the Swinging Lifestyle?